Setting Realistic Goals

I'm a perfectionist.  When I decide to do something, I put my entire heart and soul into it.  But if I don't do whatever it is I have set out to do perfectly, I feel like I've failed, I get discouraged, and I stop trying.

This is the approach I have always taken with eating healthy and exercising.  I decide I'm going to start eating better, and that I'm going to exercise every single day.  And it usually lasts a day or two, and then I have a late night and I sleep in, not giving myself enough time to exercise, or I grab fast food for dinner and I feel sluggish the next day.  And I think, Well, I tried...and I failed....clearly, I am destined to be fat and unfit for the rest of my life.

In addition to being a perfectionist, I'm not a very patient person.  I like to see immediate results when I take on a project.  I have this insane notion in my mind that as soon as I work out, I'm going to feel amazing, and I won't get winded climbing stairs any more, and my joints will stop hurting. It's ridiculous how I have repeatedly set myself up for failure.

Three weeks ago, when I decided to start eating healthier and exercising regularly, I found myself falling into the same self-defeating patterns and thoughts.  I felt determined to give it my all, and at the same time, in the back of my mind, I felt destined to fail.

I made a decision to work on tackling one thing at a time.  I told myself that by taking a different apporach than what I've taken in the past, I would be less likely to become overwhelmed, and therefore less likely to crash and burn two or three days in. My goals for Week One were to drink less soda, drink more water, and eat breakfast every day.  That was it.  Over and over, I reminded myself:  You don't have to do it all at once.  Go slow.  Concentrate on the healthy changes you're making, and on what you're accomplishing.  Don't think about the things you are not doing.  You'll get there.

I focused on making healthier food choices and controlling my portion sizes.  I didn't worry about exercise....my mindset was, If I feel like exercising, then I'll exercise.  If I don't feel like exercising, then I'll sit on the couch and watch television.  Focus on food.  Just food.And the craziest thing happened.  I met all of my goals for Week One.  I didn't just cut back on soda....I quit drinking it altogether.  I ate a healthy breakfast every morning.  Instead of fast food for lunch, I ate slices of turkey breast, grapes, and yogurt.  For dinner, I chose healthy, low-fat meals.  And even though I wasn't focused on exercising, I managed to do a couple of cardio workouts and an hour of strength training, and I took Pasta for a quick walk every night after work.

For Week Two, my goal was to add an hour of cardio every other day.

Then my sister called me and told me that she was coming to visit for a few days.  I was so excited to see her, but also really worried that the unexpected visit would cause me to lose focus.  I got all stressed out about how I was going to work and meet my goals for the week and get my house ready for company.  And my awesome friends stepped in and helped me think more rationally and realistically.  They reminded me that housework counts as exercise, and that even if I didn't exercise for a few days, it was not the end of the world, and that everything would be okay.  They told me to do my best and enjoy the time with my Seester.

My friends were my voice of reason.

I'm not gonna lie....spending time with my family was more important to me than exercising, because I probably won't see my sister again for almost a year.

So, yeah....I didn't meet my goals for Week Two.  But instead of seeing it as a failure and getting discouraged, I saw it as an opportunity to re-focus and try even harder.

It feels strange to be setting smaller, more realistic goals for myself, instead of coming out of the gate at full speed and burning out. And it is completely out of character for me to tell myself that it's okay if I don't meet my weekly goals or do everything perfectly.  But it's been such an awesome experience to step outside of my comfort zone and change the way I think about my goals.